she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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