if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
