Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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