Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
