I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
