I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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