my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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