my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
