would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
