I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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