Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
