The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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