you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
