i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
