I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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