So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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