You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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