we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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