You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
