it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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