He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
