wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
