he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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