Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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