this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
