she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
