Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
