my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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