Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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