Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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