Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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