If i come over, it means nothing
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
