I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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