It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
