He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
