doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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