My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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