PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We need to rekindle our bromance
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
