VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
