Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
