I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
soo... how was my night?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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