David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
