I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
