doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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