this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The best revenge is premature balding
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
