Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
