i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
