I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
