Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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