Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
