You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
